Blended Hope

So here I am falling in love and seeing the possibilities of a future with Matt and my oldest son isn’t having any part of it. We are all together in Las Vegas having fun…except him.

At this point of our trip to Las Vegas he is putting on a smile and just pushing through it. “Mom will dump this guy and we will have our life back” is what he is thinking right now…Here is a boy who just lost his father 6 months earlier and is now feeling like he is losing his mother too.

We left that trip and I was torn in two. The drive home to California was full of “I don’t like that guy mom” and “I don’t like his kids” and “I’ll never live in Utah” and “just find someone else”.

And yet I couldn’t just find someone else. I couldn’t just stop feeling like I was meant to be with Matt.

So with a lot of faith, and a lot of prayers, I waited. Hoping his heart would soften. I was open with Matt about what was going on and we decided to set up a FaceTime meeting between Matt and my son to discuss their differences. Well, my son came right out and said every mean thing right to him. Matt took it well and very kindly asked questions. By the end of the conversation we learned that my son didn’t want a stepdad, he had a dad (even though he was deceased). He didn’t want a replacement. He didn’t want to leave California and move to Utah. He didn’t want to lose his friends. He didn’t want all of these changes to happen.

But I did.

I’ve heard of people that put their children first above all other feelings, and I respect that. However, I needed to do what I felt would be the best and that meant me finding happiness. And I KNEW this was the right path our life needed to go in.

Now, I know what you’re thinking….you’re thinking I just met this guy on Facebook a few weeks ago, are considering marrying him, taking on his 5 children as your own, leaving everything you and your children know, and move to Utah? That’s crazy.

Yep.

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One Reply to “Stepdad? No thank you”

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