I had an amazing opportunity to be part of a sharing station at the BYU Women’s Conference❤️
We had so many people ask for a digital copy of the Tips and Strategies and Websites for Blended Families, so here is a digital copy!
I loved visiting with all of you!!
Websites, Support Groups, Blogs, Podcasts
The internet is full of many incredible resources that are just a click away when you get into a pinch and need a little support! Here is a list of a few that we have enjoyed reading:
UtahFamilyAcademy.org—FREE 7 week courses
Blended Family Connections
Blended Families Support Group
Tips and Strategies for Managing a Blended Family
Each blended family is unique in its make up so no matter where you go for advice, it doesn’t always apply to YOUR family. That being said, here are some helpful tips and links!
· Children still need quality individual time with their biological parent to affirm this primary relationship. Stepparents, support your partner/spouse with this.
· Have a regular routine for access visits with clear guidance on when, where and how things will happen. This lets children know what to anticipate and helps avoid guilt driven “Disneyland parenting”.
· Make time to talk with your children. Discuss the changes they’ve gone through and help them put their feelings or worries into words. Provide verbal reassurance of your ongoing commitment to them.
Hold family meetings (formal or informal) to give your step children a voice in decisions such as:
–appropriate consequences for breaking rules
–duties around the house
*Try teaching your step child something you are good at. Then, have them teach you something they are good at!
*Honor their existing traditions and create new ones for your new family
*When you hear “I don’t like you” a good response would be, “I feel very sad you don’t like me because I like you.”
*When you hear, “You are not my mom” a good response would be, “No, I’m not your mother, but you have to do your homework anyway.” Or, “We’re not talking about me being your mother. We’re talking about when you’re going to start your chores.”
*Don’t neglect your date nights— take much needed time to reconnect with and enjoy your spouse!
One of the biggest issues in a blended family is respect. The truth is a child may never respect their stepparent, but they do have to know that they can’t get away with being rude or obnoxious to them. The only way to achieve the desired behavior is to be certain you and your spouse are united in making sure that your kids treat you with respect.
Try Communicating with “I Will” statements instead of “You Will” (meaning you will do what I say). Here are some examples:
Instead of saying, “Show me some respect”
Try saying, “I will be glad to discuss this when respect is shown”
Instead of saying, “Don’t talk to me with that tone of voice”
Try saying, “I will listen when your voice is as calm as mine”
Instead of saying, “You need to come home by curfew or you are grounded”
Try saying, “I allow kids to go out at night who come home when they say they will”
Instead of saying, “Please sit down. We’re going to eat now”
Try saying, “We will eat as soon as you are seated”
<I’m the one in the middle>