It’s no secret that our first year blending our families together was rough. Maybe rough isn’t the right word? Disaster, contentious, or even near failure would be better terms. Let’s just say it was a difficult learning experience…
Each month that passed by felt like a new wave of issues. If it wasn’t an issue with one of the children, it was something else. I was constantly waiting for the next “storm” to happen and it was exhausting.
The same thoughts would cross my mind daily, “When will we have peace? When will we feel like a real family?”. I was getting tired of waiting even after everyone told me “be patient, it takes time”.
One day at a therapist appointment for one of our children, I was asked to join in on the session. Just a little FYI… I don’t really care for counseling. I know that sounds terrible, but I hate it. Anyhow, I was accepting and willing and I participated!
What did I learn? A really great, EASY technique to change the way I looked at my life, home life, my children, stepchildren, and my marriage.
I was asked to name 5 things I was grateful for and 1 concern that I had. Having to take the time to think of five things to be grateful for changed my heart. My mind began to focus on all of things I am grateful for–and not just the usual things such as children and husband but things like the beautiful stars and trees. It’s amazing what you can think of when you take the time to do so.
Then, I was also asked to name 5 positive things about my stepchild and in return this child named 5 positive things about me. We also named one concern and had a wonderful conversation about that.
I walked away from that meeting with a changed outlook. It’s really hard to be negative when your mind is searching for the good.
At our next family meeting (we hold them every Monday) I decided to introduce this technique and have everyone name 5 things about each other that they liked. WOW! What a difference! Giggling broke out, we began getting to know each other’s thoughts, and our hearts began to appreciate one another in a new way.
If your family is in need of a little “pick me up” I STRONGLY encourage you to try this!!
If you, as an individual, are struggling with someone in your life try closing your eyes and picturing that person. Then, try naming 5 positive attributes of that person.
<Let’s be honest here for a minute. Some people are a little harder to find five positive attributes about but just give this a try. Even if it’s “_____ is great at breathing. Hahahaha!>
Having a grateful heart can really change your mindset which in turn can help create a peaceful home.
And if no one has told you lately, here are 5 things just for you:
1. You are beautiful
2. You are enough
3. You are needed
4. You are important
5. You are doing a great job