Lately I’ve been thinking about my stepchildren’s deceased mother. Mother’s Day was approaching and I wondered if our family was doing everything we could to honor not just me but Amy as well on this special day.
Then, the thought crossed my mind that I have never “felt” her presence. I asked Matt if he thought it was possible to “feel” someone who had died whom you’ve never met and he said yes. But I have never had that experience.
In all honesty, I’m terrified of spirits, movies about spirits, surprises, or anything unknown. So, a visit from someone on “the other side” is not something I typically would ask for.
I’ve felt my deceased spouse on a few occasions. Those experiences have been mixed. Some left me feeling sad or sorrowful and other times I’ve felt at peace.
But I’ve NEVER asked for these occurrences to happen, they just happened.
That being said, this leads me to Mother’s Day.
I have NEVER prayed for someone that I have NEVER met to visit me from the other side. EVER. The thought of that is just terrifying. But, I had been thinking of Amy (with Mother’s Day coming up) and wondered what it would be like to feel her.
Would it be sorrowful? Would there be jealousy? Would there be anger? I was curious and wanted to know.
I decided to ask our Heavenly Father if I could just feel Amy sometime. So, in a quiet prayer I asked to just have that experience, even just once, to know what it’s like, just to feel Amy’s presence.
…After all, Amy and I have been married to the same man and I am currently raising her 5 children, so I thought it might be helpful to know her feelings on life down here, right?
In the moments of my prayer I couldn’t help but shed a few tears. This was big, this was scary, this is not something I would normally do. My heart just felt that I needed this to help me be a better mother to her children.
So I prayed, then I waited….
The day before Mother’s Day, Matt and I bought flowers for me and Amy while shopping and I figured maybe I would get that “feeling”, but nothing happened.
Then, on Mother’s Day morning we headed to church and I was so excited to see 4 of our younger children sing. As I sat there in the pew I thought of Amy again. I prayed and asked one more time if Amy could just be there for this one moment. The kids walked up to the stage and the music began. Matt and I were looking for where all 4 of the kids were located, they were so cute! Our little children started to sing and then…
It happened. There she was, right with me. We were there together watching “our” children perform together.
I can’t describe the feeling other than to say I was overwhelmed with a feeling of gratitude. I couldn’t see Amy but I could feel her love for each of her children, Matt, and I.
I felt a sense of peace and joy that her children were right where they needed to be, that I was the mother that they needed at this time, I was the wife that was needed at this time, and there wasn’t any doubt. She left me with a feeling that she was overjoyed about the progress our family has made and the way it is blending together so well.
As I looked at the kids on the stage I couldn’t help but look at Ashlyn, age 11, and feel how strongly Amy loved her and how grateful Amy was that I was there to help shape her into this blossoming young woman.
Then, it was over. I sat there wiping away tears that I couldn’t stop from coming. Matt had never seen me cry like this and was pretty surprised to look over and see me sobbing about a little church performance. I wanted to tell him what had just happened but I just couldn’t. I just sat there wiping my eyes.
How grateful I was for this experience and what a blessing it was to have my questions answered this way.
God does hear our prayers!
**Later in the day, while we were gone visiting Amy’s grave, a plate of cookies were delivered to my door. My neighbor sent a text that said her son saw me crying during the church performance and he felt like I needed these special cookies. <Yes, I totally embarrassed myself in front of all those kids🤣> While my neighbor was gone at the airport her son had made these cookies himself and brought them over. Isn’t that the sweetest thing ever?!!!!
Maybe Amy visited him too and let him know that chocolate chip cookies happen to be my favorite!!!
Thank you Amy!!