The past 19 years of motherhood have changed me for the better. I now know what it feels like to have a piece of your heart beating outside of your body. I LOVE my kids, I mean I just ADORE them!
And when Matt and I blended our families together and I received 5 more children, my heart grew even bigger!
I have loved all of the grocery shopping, clothes shopping, Easter basket making, Christmas list purchasing, attending their sporting events, signing them up for extra curricular activities, etc for all nine of our children.
But here is what is about to happen to our life in just a few months and I am needing a little help…
My oldest son left for a 2 year religious mission right after he graduated high school and he will RETURN in about 5 months.
At the same time, Matt’s oldest daughter is graduating high school and is going to be enrolled in a college nearby.
These are both great accomplishments and Matt and I are so proud. We we officially have TWO ADULT, GRADUATED kids under our roof. Both have plans to attend college.
Now, this is a stage of parenthood that I see A LOT of issues arise, even if you have the same mother and father. But when you have a blended family this can get sticky. Especially when trying to figure out the financial aspect of “who is paying for what.
I need a game plan people, quick.
Matt and I had a long talk and we discussed how our parents handled us at age 18 and they were VERY different.
We cannot agree how best to handle these two new adults under our roof.
Remember how I said I enjoyed doing all of those things for those nine kids? Well, at what point do I stop doing all of that??
Do they live here for free, forever?
Do I continue to purchase all of their clothes?
How much longer do I have to cook and buy groceries for 9 kids?
Do we just continue to pay for their cell phones, car, car insurance, etc?
Do we give them a curfew? We do have a baby in the house…
I have seen this scenario of adult age kids turn very bad so many times. These kids can manipulate their parents and become lazy, never fully growing up and becoming independent. Some kids end up doing very little and continue living in their parents basement for years….I don’t want that.
Or better yet, never know what it’s like to have to fend for themselves, budget, save, you get the idea.
I also don’t want my children working themselves like crazy when we can ease part of their burden by living at home.
What team are you on:
TEAM: GLORIFIED HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT
These kids live at home for free, tuition is paid for, groceries are paid for, clothing is paid for, car and cell phone and gas to school is paid for. They must be attending school full time.
TEAM: GROWN UP IN PROGRESS
These kids are adults now and need to learn what that means. Must pay a little bit of rent, chip in for groceries and bills, buy your own clothes, and typically work at least a part time job. Tuition is paid for.
These are the two scenarios we have come up with so far. I won’t tell you which one is mine or Matt’s…hehehe!
How have you handled adult aged children????