Blended Hope

Hitting Max Capacity AKA: Being “DONE”

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How did you know you were done having children? How did you know your family was complete?

Women have told me they just knew, or had a feeling, when they were done having children. Others have told me they had spiritual experiences that confirmed their decision. And many moms have said they just physically could not endure another pregnancy which confirmed the end of childbearing for them.

Then there’s me. Baby after baby, I never had any confirmation of being done. In fact, after each baby I felt stronger to have another!

“I’m 42 years old, have taken on 5 stepchildren, had one more baby, and at some point should probably stop. We have nine children!” I tell myself.

I have prayed to have peace about our family being complete. And nothing happened.

I prayed to know if Matt and I should have another child–after all I’ve always wanted ten! And nothing.

Till one day.

It finally happened!!!

The most overwhelming feeling and relief of “I’m never doing this [pregnancy] again. I am done. Your family is now complete. You’ve hit max capacity. Close that chapter in your life” experience occurred.

Wow, this “feeling of knowing” really does exist!

And for a moment, let me be honest: it hurts. My heart aches a little bit inside.

My baby Weston and I

No more sweet baby smells, first baths, cuddles and nursing all day. No more “hospital” pics or teeny-tiny clothes.

Weston holding my finger at the hospital

I’m currently packing up all of my itty bitty baby clothes and sending them off for another mommy to enjoy with her new baby.

I’ve officially graduated from the child bearing stage and have come to terms with it. The next baby that will be “mine” will be a grand baby and I look forward to that day.

Till then, I will love and embrace this next crazy, busy stage of life.

I’ll leave you with the words of one of my favorite children’s book “Love You Forever” by Robert Munshc

“I’ll love you forever

I’ll like you for always

As long as I’m living

My baby you’ll be”

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11 Replies to “Hitting Max Capacity AKA: Being “DONE””

  1. Very interesting post. I have to admit, though I love my son and daughter more than life itself, I wasn’t an infant person. I enjoyed my kids much more once they started walking and talking. The infancy stage frightened me a bit–I felt a little helpless. In any case, the greatest gift I’ve ever been given are my two children.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have heard others echo the same feelings of the infant stage—but I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. The hardest age for me has to be between 10 months and 2 years old. When are three and potty trained I am in heaven😁

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It does hurt, doesn’t it…to be “done.” My experience was different than yours. I had to decide to be done after losing 5 children, but I think that “sensation” of being done is one that we have in common. It hurts. That’s because change can be difficult. At least for me… 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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